The OFFICIALunOFFICIAL English Bulldog Mascot

♫I Wrote A Song About It. Like’ta Hear It? Here It Go..*!

In Animals and Pets, Dog Parks, English bulldogs, Popular Culture, Popular Music, Television, Thats' Life on September 16, 2009 at 4:32 AM

Me With Her friend at the dog park

Me With Her friend at the dog park

Like I said, I love the dog park. Most of the time it’s really fun.  Most times the People that I meet there are more interesting than the dogs.  And you meet some weeely interesting People at the dog park.

Like The Infrequents, the People who come every once in a while.  Their dogs have energy to burn.  You can see the energy comin’ at’cha for miles and it changes the whole vibe at the dog park and almost all the time, not in a good way. Their People don’t keep an eye on them.  They don’t pick up after their dogs. When their dogs get aggressive they’re quick to dismiss it saying stuff like “Dogs are gonna git into fights,” or “You just have to let the dogs be dogs.”

Nine out of ten times, their dogs are not spayed or neutered either.  A lot of the time their dogs are not even healthy.  They bring unvaccinated puppies and they bring them to the Big Dog park. They don’t fully appreciate how we do things up in here.  Their dogs empty the dog park quick.  Responsible dog owners suddelny feel the need to leave.

Then there are The Workerbees, People who come right after work with their dogs.  They feel guilty their beloved pet has been home alone all day long so now this is their quality time and they are SERIOUS–  about their quality time. They are also hyper vigilant. They don’t want Daisy or Duke to get hurt.  They’re on a mission:  Duke and Daisy must be rigorously exercised and they MUST HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!  They bring toys especially that novel piece of equipment designed to lob balls hands free across the park. They’re all business so there’s not a lot of chit chat. They’re all about their dog.  Most of the time they just want to spend time with Daisy or Duke so they tend to congregate at the front of the park near the entrance so they can be alone.  With their dog.  Butt sniffers please leave.

Then there is The Canvass Chair Circle, (they call themselves the Dog Park Bitches); the group that come everyday with their dogs. They recognize all the People who come to the dog park and they know all the dogs by name.  They look out for each other and they care fiercely about the safety of the dogs.  Dog park etiquette must be observed and is strictly enforced and all dogs, no matter their size, are always welcome–  as long as they’re healthy and not aggressive. They always have extra poop bags and will gladly share their water with The Infrequents or the harried and hurried Workerbees.  They even march around the park picking up the poop The Inconsiderates have left behind.

They’re fun! They’re great ’cause you get to sort of know what to expect and you know who the other dogs are.  I even look forward to seeing them.  And the dogs, too.

(Click here for more Dog Park Do’s and Don’ts.)

The dog park definitely has a distinct culture and an even more distinct divide.  The difference between the big dog and small dog areas is exactly like the difference between elementary school teachers and high school teachers.  You can immediately tell by their wardrobe who teaches whom and where.

The big dog park is more welcoming and accepting of all dog breeds. The only thing that’s frowned upon in the big dog park is dog aggression and People not pickin’ up the poop.  The small dog park is an entirely different story.  There is an almost palpable dislike for “big” dogs.  Small dog People will say things like “Oh, my dog doesn’t like your dog.”  New People are not immediately embraced.

You have to “prove” yourself and hope you pass some unwritten, unspoken rule of acceptance.  Small dog park People tend to feel they have the right to “handle” us. They criticize the big dogs from their superiority perches. They prefer low lawn chairs. They have wine parties in their Regulars circle. I weigh 43 pounds (about the same weight as a Shetland collie) and I have been characterized as “huge.” Too “big” for the small dog park.  Then there’s all that yipping and braying.

But it’s all good.  I like hanging with the big dogs.  And all the really great People who have been really great to me and

You've got'ta have friends!

You've got'ta have friends!

Her–  At the dog park!

So I came home one night from the dog park inspired.  I wrote a little song about it.  Umma gonna sang it to my friends . Like’ta hear it…?

At The Dog Park

Most times it’s hard to find your niche.

That’s when it’s great to be a Bitch.

There ain’t no tellin’ who ya might meet…
Lucy, Opus, Apollo maybe even a
That or This
Off leash at the dog park.
Off leash at the dog park yeah!
Come on and sing it wit me:  Dog Park!                                                 Chorus
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all: Dog Park yeah!
Come summer the heat gets kinda hard
This ain’t no place to be if ya can’t hang in the yard.
Let me tell you it’s always cool
And the folks don’t mind sometimes if ya pant and drool.
Off leash at the dog park
Off leash at the dog park  yeah!
Come on and sing it wit me: dog park.
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all: Dog park yeah!
(Work the dirt) Well those dogs never seem to stop poopin’.
(Work the dirt) Grab your bag and proceed to scoopin’
(Work the dirt) Time to reap what ye hath sown
(Work) The poop you must scoop this time is your own
Hey! Support the dog park today.
It’s great when they’re neutered and spayed.
It’s where you’ll hear people say:
“Pick it up! That’a way! ” at the…
Dog park!
Off leash at the dog park
Dog park yeah!
Come on an’ sing it wit me:  Dog park
Sing it wit feelin’, y’all:  Dog park, Yeah!
Those dogs never seem to stop dropin’, Well I say
Keeps those bags (and chagrin) poppin’
Let me tell you it’s always cool
And the folks don’t mind sometimes if ya pant and drool.
Off leash at the dog park.
Off leash at the dog park
The Dog Park  yeah!
Come on and sing it wit me:  Dog Park!
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all: Dog Park yeah!
There ain’t no tellin’ who ya might meet…
Lucy, Opus, Apollo maybe even a
That an’ This
Off leash at the dog park.
Off leash at the dog park yeah!
Come on and sing it wit me:  Dog Park!
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all: Dog Park yeah!

Come summer the heat gets kinda hard
This ain’t no place to be if ya can’t hang in the yard.
Let me tell you it’s always cool
And the folks don’t mind sometimes when ya plant a stool.

Off leash at the dog park
Off leash at the dog park  yeah!
Come on and sing it wit me: dog park.
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all: Dog park yeah!

(Work the dirt) Well those dogs never seem to stop poopin’.
(Work the dirt) Grab your bag and proceed to scoopin’
(Work the dirt) Time to reap what ye hath sown
(Work) The poop you must scoop this time is your own

Hey! Support the dog park today.
It’s great when they’re neutered and spayed.
It’s where you’ll hear people say:
“Pick it up! That’a way! ” at the…

Dog park!
Off leash at the dog park
Dog park yeah!
Come on an’ sing it wit me:  Dog park
Sing it wit feelin’, y’all:  Dog park, Yeah!

Those dogs never seem to stop dropin’, Well I say
Keeps those bags (and chagrin) poppin’
Let me tell you it’s always cool
And the folks don’t mind sometimes when ya plant a stool. 
Off leash at the dog park.
Off leash at the dog park
The Dog Park  yeah!
Come on and sing it wit me:  Dog Park!
Sing it with the feelin’ y’all: Dog Park yeah!

Goodwill Energies I direct your way
Toward each and every one of you
Each and every day!

“And there came to be evening and there came to be morning…”

That’s Life today
That@work 005
Ciao!

David Alan Grier as Calhoun Tubbs| In Living Color | 1990-1994*

Coming up next:  Shelter dog or Purebreed: The case for loving choice in America
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