The OFFICIALunOFFICIAL English Bulldog Mascot

Don’t Ask ✽ Don’t Tell Puppy Boy

In Animals and Pets, Comedy, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Humor, Popular Culture, Popular Music on February 24, 2010 at 10:47 PM

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue, Don’t Harass❞ policy is a practical ban on gay men, lesbians and bisexuals serving in the military that is similar to policies that have been in place for the past fifty years.

Like many Americans I viewed DADT as something of a benign gentlemen’s agreement. Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. What’s so confusing about That? It’s not like skin color, or an accent, or a characteristic of the eyes– something you really can’t voluntarily hide.

It’s not a wheel chair or a leg brace or any other obvious physical or psychological disability.  If no one asks and no one tells no one has to know and nobody gets hurt. Discretion would be the key to personal privacy and  job security. Win, win, right?

Wrong!

What I didn’t know is ❝Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell❞ is the only law in this country that authorizes the firing of an American Person simply for coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. “Discretion” is not a fail-safe mechanism after all. An honest statement by a servicemember of his or her sexual orientation to anyone, anywhere, anytime may lead to discharge from the armed services. Moreover, discretion in the form of mandated silence is itself a form of oppression and discrimination.

You learn something new every day.

DADT in the military is not a good thing.  It’s not a good thing in the day to day world of everyday people, either.  And yet, Whoop! There it is. Some have mastered the insidious social “benefit” of  DADT. For instance, Don’t Ask if She watches American Idol or The Bachelor, or Grey’s Anatomy or reruns of Friends.  Then She won’t tell.

Don’t Ask if She listens to reggae, or Hip Hop, or Mexican oompah/accordion Polka or Andrea Bocelli.  Then She won’t tell.

Don’t ask any Person anything you don’t really wanna know. Don’t tell any Person anything you know they don’t really wanna know.

❝I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable
I’m not trying to make you anything at all…❞

Don’t ask. There are just too many trivial, subjective, individual distractions when there’s so much agony and pain and suffering in the WORLD. What the world needs now–  Is more attention. It takes two seconds to text $10.00. Feels good. My Brotha’ right here.., don’t dish me up a heaping plate of awkward. Shhh. Don’t tell.

Which brings me to Merrill Markoe. Merrill Markoe is a comedian, comedy writer and author. She was one of the original writers for The David Letterman Show, and for a very long time they were partners on a personal level as well. Currently, Ms Markoe performs at comedy clubs throughout the country and makes appearances on late night TV.  She has four dogs.  Puppy Boy is one of them.

The beauty of dogs is they operate in a world where everything in their world is concrete. There is no navigating abstractions, no hiding what they are (or are not).  Yep, we Dogs are the model for keeping it real.

This is the theme in Act Four of Episode 339 of Chicago Public Radio‘s This American Life hosted by Ira Glass.  Divorce Is Rrrufff!!! , the closing vignette  is about what divorce looks like in the eyes of  and with Ms Markoe as the voice of  Puppy Boy. Very funny.

The nearly ten minute piece is even more funny if you listen without the video.  You can listen to Episode #339 in it’s entirety, or slide down to 51:24 and listen to Ms Markoe’s performance which was recorded at Un-Cabaret in Los Angeles.  Or you can watch the You Tube video.

Goodwill Energies I direct
Toward each and every one of you
Each and every day.

❝And there came to be evening and there came to be morning❞

That’s life today


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  1. Excellent Picture!! Best regards

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