The OFFICIALunOFFICIAL English Bulldog Mascot

♫♪♫♪And ThatOne Is His Name-O!

In Children's Literacy, Children's Books, Elvis Presley, English bulldogs, K-12 Education, Thats' Life, Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne on March 23, 2011 at 9:00 AM
♫♪♫♪There was a Gal who had a dog
and ThatOne is his name– O
And ThatOne is his name–O  ♫♪♫♪

Sometimes deciding to get a dog is like deciding to have a baby. If you wait for all the right conditions to be present, you’ll probably never get one.  Sometimes you have to just do it!

She’d never owned a dog– Never  in Her entire adult life. And now here She was right smack in the middle of Her life.  She put more time, effort and thought into getting me than  perhaps She did about getting HerSon. HerSon maybe didn’t take quite as long.

She was stuck on that familiar track– you know, waiting for the moon and the stars (translation: time and money) to align perfectly.

Unless you’re JK Rowling or Oprah the two are as likely to perfectly  align as a dam and bulldog. Everybody knows it ain’ gonna happen without a medical intervention and don’t look at me..! This factory is sooo closed!

So one night, She’s flipping through websites on the Internet doing research for Her blog when she stumbles upon this ad on Kijiji (pronounced key-gee-gee), free local classifieds, search and post. To hear Her tell it, my picture just suddenly loomed forward.

The ad was placed by an occasional breeder. An occasional breeder does not buy up bullies to breed for profit. They don’t have rows and rows of stacked steel kennels lined up on a remote property. They’re not trying to make a living doing this, nor are they supplementing incomes. Both dam and dog are pedigreed, cherished family pets that have been bred responsibly, under the close supervision of a qualified vet and with carefully documented bloodlines.

The  ad was already three days old by the time  She’d chanced upon it.  These days,  everybully loves Bully’s.  We’re popular. We’re coveted.  Some even consider we’re status symbols.

With our breed there is no shelf life. She began rehearsing Her inner Eyore. She hesitated to call. The next day, She went to her (((((((Goodwill Energies!))))))), “Nothin’ beats a try but a failure” place and picked up the phone. This time, it seems Jupiter did indeed align with Mars. I was still available, the asking price was just right and, miracle of miracles,  She had the money!

“Oh, I’ll take him! I’ll be there at 6 o’clock to pick him up.  He’s my dog now!” She exclaimed recalling John Goodman’s Gale in Raising Arizona:

Evelle: Promise we ain’t never gonna leave him again, Gale. Promise me we ain’t never gonna give him up.
Gale: We ain’t never gonna give him up again, Evelle. He’s our little Gale Jr. now.

Fantastic, funny film. You should rent it. Coen brothers. Need I say more? Doh! But I digress…

That evening, right on time  She pulled up to the curb of the plush, manicured lawn. She marched up to the door and rang the doorbell.  She rang the doorbell.  She RANG the doorbell. She knocked on the door with the brass knocker.  Still no answer. With images of Eyore dancing in Her head, She sat down on the bench on the porch.

She had been sitting there for what seemed like an eternity when suddenly the door flung open. There stood a diminutive Filipino woman.  She let go a gasp, startled to see this Person sitting outside her door.

“Oh, you here about dat dog,”  she said in a breathy, but thickly punctuated accent.  “My son-in-law he  not  home  yet,  but okay you come in.  See the dog.  You wait.”

That at first sightThe kitchen was partitioned off the living room by a child’s safety gate and on the other side of it were the dog and dam, six six week old puppies and two five month olds. Mother-In-Law grabbed me by the collar. As I strode toward Her, She recognized me at once. It was love at first sight. I started excitedly jumping up on Her, dragging my nails down the length of Her exposed legs. She was wearing a grey skirt. She has the scars from that initial encounter to this day.

She was stunned to see other bully’s there!  Her heart and thoughts began to race. She had always wanted two bulldogs and now it looked as though this dream was on the verge of becoming a reality. She dared not believe Her good fortune! She recovered Her senses and telephoned the Marine.  She thanked Mother-In-Law, then asked for a drink of water.

The Marine, who resembled a darker complexioned  Dave Chappelle,  soon arrived. By then She’d had time to finish her water and bond with me and my sole litter mate, products of the dam’s third and final litter.  The Marine and She made small talk and then they got right down to business.  She has no talent fur small talk.

“Is this one available as well?”  She asked.  Like I said, She expected me to be the only dog there.

“Well…”  The Marine began, but before he could get another word in edgewise…

“Ohhh.., I’ll take this one and that one!”  She gushed.

“Ummm…   I’ll need to speak with my wife…” The wheels were turning, only a skosh more slowly. Mother-In-Law to the rescue.  It was clear She needed to hep-a-brother out!

“Well, you can’t have this one!”  Mother-In-Law declared.

She didn’t miss a beat. “OK, then I’ll take that one.” End of  discussion.  End of  transaction. That was the beginning of That.

That evening, as we drove back to her place together, some dude prattling on about something on NPR, She glanced the rear view mirror at me and smiled. I lolled out my tongue. Fur years She imagined Herself with two bulldogs She’d name Mulder and Scully. Whew! Can you imagine?  Do I look like a Mulder to you?

“I’m gonna call you ‘ThatOne’,” She said.  Decision made.

Well, that’s all right, mama
That’s all right for you
That’s all right mama, just anyway you do
Well, that’s all right, that’s all right.
That’s all right now mama, anyway you do
Goodwill Energies I direct your way
Toward each and every one of you
Each and every day

“And there came to be evening and there came to be morning…”

That’s All Right Mama | Elvis Presley | 1954

That’s Life today!

  1. I love love love this story!

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