Ka-Choing… Yoing Oing Oing Oing!

#bullDogNATION’s Sunday BULLY Pulpit

♫♫(woof!) What you want?
(woof!) Maybe I got it
(woof!) What you need?
(woof!) You know I got it!
(woof!) All I’m askin’
(woof!) Is for a little RESTRAINT out in public

(just a little bit) Courtesy (just a little bit)

Out in public
(just a little bit)

People

(just a little bit)

Woof!

Hello! And to #bullDogNATION’s Sunday BULLY Pulpit where each week we gather together fur the Gospel and the Gossip according to Me! Or you. Come on in. You’re welcome to post your own opinion, pictures or comments on #bullDogNATION’s Sunday BULLY Pulpit. This week:

“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand …”–Ancient Chinese Proverb

Ever been out and about just minding your own bully bidness when someone, (usually an adult) approaches and says “Awww… You’re so cute! Are you—  Friendly?“

Ka-Choing Yoing Oing!

CAUTION: Menace to society. Big time.

Oh nooo… Why.., just look at me! I’m a regular flesh eatin’ teenaged werewolf here, see..?

I'm a Lover. Not a biter.

Could’a been me who ripped the face off that woman in Connecticut! If I’d have been there. Magically morphed into a frustrated chimpanzee. Who snapped.

Clever disguise.

That’s why I’m always cleverly disguised, see, as That mild mannered English bulldog tethered inside this three wheeled getaway vehicle here, equally cleverly disguised– As a Pet STROLLER!

I always wanna say stuff like That, but I restrain myself. Why? Self-control. Because sarcasm is bad, kids. Bad.

Art Linkletter was the popular television host of a popular TV show in the popular 50’s and 60’s called Kids Say The Darndest Things.

I ought to be the bulldog host of a show called People Say The Darndest Things– About Bulldogs. Or You Don’t Know Bull!– About Dogs.  Or Are You Smarter Than ThatOne | English Bulldog? (Any TV movers and shakers out there? *Call me.*)

It’s exhausting. Fur Her! It takes a lot of psychic, physical and emotional energy to repel all that weighty not-goodwill that’s really at the heart of  most of these inquiries.

And more than a few of you are not even especially clever, either. We hear the same questions and comments over and over and over, time and time again. Here are just a few examples:

❝How much did you pay fur him?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ How much is that gorilla in the window?

❝Does he have a lot of health problems?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ Only if you consider ‘good’ a health problem.

❝He has a face only a mother could love❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ Sure you right. And I do!

❝He’s so ugly, he’s cute!❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ Thank you?

❝How’d you get him so buffed?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ I owe my good looks to my mother and father. And precedents!

❝How do you get him so white?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ ♫♫What’s genes got to do– Got to do with it? And perhaps an occasional bath?

❝Does he snore?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠Only when I’m sleeping.

❝Do you always have to lift him in and out of  your SUV?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ I believe strongly in ‘No Dog left behind.’

❝Can he walk?❞ ➠➠➠➠➠ Yes, but the Thatmobile is so much more portable than a Mercedes.

❝Do you  surf/skateboard/do a stupid pet trick?❞➠➠➠➠➠ No. No.  And a little bit more–  NO! But if you hum a few bars…

Again. Restraint. I can’t actually say these things. I just think them. And write them in my blog. BOL!

❝Is he friendly?❞ This is the question that gets me every time People ask Her That. I’m a bulldog and even I don’t quite understand.

Do People as a general practice, routinely bring along unsociable, unfriendly, snarling, straining-at-the-leash, aggressive, biting, angry, drooling, snapping Real Cujo’s of ________*(insert your town’s name here)* to mix it up with the public to, say, Target or the public library or Barnes and Noble?

You wouldn’t bring your unruly child out in public on a bad day. Why do you think She or anybully else fur that matter, would bring an untrained, undisciplined, unpredictable, unrestrained, let alone unhealthy wild animal out in public? Does that even make sense?!! I’m a bulldog not a chimpanzee!

Ka-Choing... Yoing Oing Oing Oing!

It makes me wonder if any of the People who ask Her these rude and thoughtless (not to mention Ri-lick-cules) questions have ever been set upon on their way into the library or on the street by an “unfriendly” dog on a leash? Tethered to the inside of a blue buggy? With an AKC/CGC * patch in full display on the front?

So People, when you’re tempted to try to make idle conversation or innocuous small talk and you have neither the skills, the temperament, the knowledge about bulldogs (or any other breed of dog); you’re not “a dog Person,” or possess the social grace sufficient to speak intelligently on this or any other subject, here’s my advice to you:

Just say “Oh!” Followed by

“He’s cute. May I pet him?”

Then be on your way. And check the ill will energy, negative questions and derogatory comments at your door!

R–E–S-TRAI–N–T!

Find out what That means to me

R–E–S-TRAI–N–T!

Common Courtesy! Ow!

k tx!

Goodwill Energies I direct

Toward each and every one of you

Each and every day.

 

❝And there came to be evening and there came to be morning…❞

That’s life, today!

btw! BOL!

Related Articles

The History Of The Thatmobile 

Pepsi Please!

Verses In English: Bulldog On World Peace (that1ebd.wordpress.com)

See In The Window, Magilla Gorilla

In Defense Of The Needs Of The Many

 

*AKC- American Kennel Club

CGC- Canine Good Citizen

Pepsi Please!

♫♫People

Who purposefully and willfully deceive

People

Are

the most Horribull People

In.

The.

World!!!

Of course, I’m a bulldog. But I have a lot of Anipals. A lot of Anipals. That’s why I feel it so keenly when any one of my Anipals, whether I even know them or not, are deceived and doubly so when that deceit involves People lying about dogs to other People in order to make a fast buck. Lying– Deliberate, willful, obfuscating and inveigling– is the worst thing one Person can do to another Person. Worse even than killing someone!

Check out the company liars are lumped in with according to one authoritative source:

But as for the cowards and those without faith and those who are disgusting in their filth and murderers and fornicators and those practicing spiritism and idolaters and all the liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur. This means the second death.– Revelation 21:8

I get upset with People lying especially when it hurts another Person.

Me with Greg, an English Bulldog

Remember I told you about my furriend Baby? Well, her Person had a relative, HisNiece. The family was close. HisNeice and HerHusband visited often.

HisNiece worked as the rental manager fur an apartment complex. As the property’s rental manager, HisNiece and HerHusband got to live rent free in one of the apartments.

The management company, however, was not pet friendly. The couple were acutely aware of this policy. As the property rental manager, she, herself would not only have to make certain prospective tenants knew, understood and complied with the No Pets policy, but she would have to enforce the policy as well. So it was, in a word, surprising, this young couple would jeopardize both their shelter and her job by purchasing a puppy.

Baby’s Person told Her it was an English bulldog because, no doubt, that is what he had been told. She was excited by the potential here, if you see what I mean.

HisNiece brought “Lola” to Baby’s Person to care fur while she figured out what she was going to do. But to our great shock and surprise, this puppy was not an English bulldog. At first, we didn’t know what it was. All we were certain of was that this dog was definitely not an English bulldog.

Lola was lean. Lola was tall. Lola was a welter weight. She was very excitable but friendly. Her head was small, not square at all, her muzzle was long and she had a modest nose fold that could not be characterized by any stretch of semantics as a bulldog rope. And her tail was neither screwed nor kinked, rather it was long and straight like a boxer’s cropped tail! Physically this dog lacked the distinctive dense, musculature characteristic of an English bulldog.

She went to the Internet and discovered Lola was, in fact, not an English bulldog but rather an Olde English bulldogge.

AKC English bulldog

Olde English bulldogge

OK. Beside from the obvious fact these dogs in no way appear similar, they are in fact two separate breeds of dogs! English bulldogs are internationally sanctioned by the American Kennel Club (AKC), have a long, time honored tradition and lineage and have been uniformly bred according to an unaltered standard that goes back hundreds of years.

The Olde English bulldogge while not recognized by the AKC or represented or shown in any of the internationally prestigious competitions, was developed by David Leavitt in 1971, with standards developed and maintained by the Olde English Bulldogge Association (OEBA). People appreciate the Olde English bulldogge because they are althletic, free breeding and free whelping.

She chose not to share Her findings with HerNiece and HerHusband.

After Lola was with us about two months, the couple came to take her. By then She had house trained Lola, extinguished her fear of stairs and climbing and descending them, socialized her, leash trained her and faded most of her more excitable behaviors. She accepted no payment.

HerNiece then asked “So, how long did it take for ThatOne to turn into a bulldog?”

“Turn into a bulldog?” She restated the question incredulously.

“Yes, when we told the breeder about how our dog doesn’t look like your dog, he said Lola was going to change as she gets older. So, how long did it take for ThatOne to turn into a bulldog?” She repeated.

It was then She felt compelled to explained I was born an English bulldog. I owe my good looks and my square, footstool composition to my mother and father. And grandparents. And precedents. She explained She thought their dog was an Olde English bulldogge and gave them information they could look up on the Internet about their dog.

Two weeks later, Baby’s Person asked if we could take care of Baby for a couple of weeks while he helped HisNiece move to Oregon. He also shared HisNiece learned their dog was indeed an Olde English bulldogge. The couple had purchased an Olde English bulldogge from a Seller who was selling an Olde English bulldogge, but when it became apparent HisNiece and HerHusband incorrectly imagined they were buying an English bulldog, the Seller chose not to correct their mistaken belief. Instead he chose to allow them to nurture the false hope their dog would one day magically morph into an English bulldog.

We never found out what, if anything, happened to Lola.

Last summer we met a woman in the parking lot at CVS. This woman thought I was the most beautiful bulldog she had ever seen. People tell me that all the time, soooo… Any who, one thing lead to another and she shared she, too, was the proud owner of an English bulldog. Naturally, She got all excited because She is always on the lookout fur the next Baby fur me. They arranged a play date fur us at Her new best friend’s house.

I don’t remember the name of her puppy so I’ll just call him Victor. I call him Victor because he was not an English bulldog. Victor was a Victorian bulldog.

*This* is a Victorian bulldog

*This* is That

Any questions?

See how dissimilar we look? English bulldog faces tend to be more square, decidedly more jowly. Our nose fold is rope like. It’s a deep, fat fissure of skin situated right on top of the nose. The English bulldog skull is short, broad and flat. It’s not like a muzzle, not rectangular but squat and square.

Victor was a Victorian bulldog yet this dog was advertised, represented and sold to Miss@CVS as an English bulldog. What’s a Victorian bulldog you ask?

Victorian Bulldog. Does your bulldog look like this?

The Victorian bulldog was developed by Mr. Ken Mollett in London, who, like David Leavitt, attempted to revive the archaic appearance of bulldogs as they existed in the 1800s. In 1985, he started a breeding program with Graham Woods and his brother Derreck Mollett.

He created the Victorian Bulldog breed by combining specimens of various other dog breeds like Bulldog, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Bullmastiff and Dogue de Bordeaux.

Mollett also studied old statues, paintings, engravings and written descriptions from Victorian times to create the breed.

These dogs are recognized by the Victorian Bulldog Society (VBS) of Great Britain, the Victorian Bulldog Foundation (VBF), Dog Registry of America (DRA) and Backwoods Bulldog Club (BBC).

The English bulldog is a lap dog. We’re not fur agility trials, hiking, runnin’ behind bikes, chasin’ thrown sticks or long walks on the beach. People with active lifestyles or who enjoy sporting activities or who would like an active furriend fur their young children especially appreciate the high energy of the Olde English bulldogge and Victorian bulldog.

People who fancy the wonderful heaviness of the English bulldog, the sweet, accepting, unflappable temperament of the English bulldog, the special noises and mannerisms of the English bulldog and the handsome, elegant build and countenance of the English bulldog will have done the careful research required to ensure they select a credible, reputable English bulldog breeder.

She likens it to having a thirst fur Pepsi but someone brings you Dr. Pepper instead. Both are colas, right? But when you know you really like Pepsi and That is what you want simply because you just prefer it, it’s a disappointment to get served Dr. Pepper. Even though Dr. Pepper is a good cola.

The right dog with the right temperament just makes life a more joyful experience. Don’t allow deceitful liars to rob you of your joy. Do your homework. Have a Pepsi!

Goodwill Energies I direct

Toward each and every one of you

Each and every day.

❝And there came to be evening and there came to be morning…❞

That’s life today!

The History Of The Thatmobile

Over and over I get inquiries about my Thatmobile. The one I have now is actually my third Thatmobile. The first one She got at a yard sale fur $5.00. It was a regular, used, baby People stroller.

As you can plainly see, I got a lot of use out of this stroller. A lot! But as you know, I like to go to the beach where there is sand and parks where there’s rough terrain. So in July, 2009 fur my second birthday, She got me this:

I simply cannot effuse enough in praise of this stroller. I lubbed lubbed Lubbed it! All my most favorite, fondest and happiest times took place with me in this stroller!

The Back Trail Pet Stroller had a “thick and sturdy steel collapsing/folding frame, two leashes and a removable/washable comfort pad. Rugged and beefy rubber pneumatic tires that really negotiated sand and nature trails well, a specially designed spring-assisted rear suspension that performed like shock absorbers and rear brakes” that effectively prevented the 3-wheel stroller from rolling when unattended.

The nylon fabric with white, implemented mesh kept me protected from the sun and afforded me some privacy when I needed to be concealed from pupperazzi. She lubbed the super thick, cushioned ergonomic handle that made pushing the stroller easy and comfortable as well as the convenient dual cup holder and storage compartment that was great fur our iBone.

The all-terrain pet stroller also featured a bottom storage compartment, a rear zippered opening with a small window and a front step and front retractable awning/opening so I could get in or out of the stroller either way and mostly by myself! That was bully cool!

The minuses:  It was a bit difficult to immediately fold. Sometimes you had to try a couple times, and you couldn’t easily put anything in or take things out of the basket underneath once I was in the stroller. The tires needed to be inflated often which was a chore, especially after the stroller languished in the hot car after several days. But it folded flat in the car and was not especially heavy.

The Back Trail all-terrain pet stroller was cool to look at, with a compact, square shape She found appealing, and the reflector racing strips added safety value in the daytime and at night. They looked cool. We especially lubbed the blue color, too!

This stroller was manufactured in China and the model has been discontinued. I learned all of this after my stroller was stolen on June 21, 2010 just shy of my having it one year. Otherwise, I would have reordered this one again. I still highly recommend it!

I needed a new Thatmobile right away to continue my therapy and Pet Ambassador work. I’m especially heat intolerant due to the fact that I am a brachycephalic breed. Heat exhaustion is a real concern, neither can I keep up a brisk pace fur minutes and minutes on end, so the stroller is really necessary equipment fur the active bulldog who is always on the go. Like me!

So She quickly got me this:

The good things about this stroller is that it is larger and longer, and the tires don’t need air. The front wheel can be fixed or swivels. However, you cannot fix it in the more useful outward position as shown below. It can only be fixed in the inward facing position pictured above.

Also, if you fix the front wheel like this it will not fold flat fur storage.

The Pet Gear stroller boasts a 60 lb capacity but I weigh 44 lbs and there is just enough room fur me. Two small dogs, like silky terriers could fit comfortably; two bulldog puppies, maybe, but not two adult bulldogs.

It collapses quite easily, however a design flaw is that the lock latch does not reach the latch extension, so your stroller will open and not stay flat if you store it on its side in the car like She does. She secures mine in the car with a bungee cord.

The basket is longer than the Back Trail stroller but it is also more shallow and positioned too close to the front wheel, so if you put anything in it, it causes the basket to rub against the front wheel while the stroller is in motion. My basket has a hole where it’s been worn through by the front wheel.

The Back Trails had a steel safety rail in front which was also convenient fur resting my heavy head. Pet Gear does not so do not use this stroller without leashing your dog in. Also this stroller is completely unsuitable fur excitable dogs who cannot be relied on to sit still. They can tumble out or even jump out of this stroller.

This stroller can be ordered online through an independent dealer who contracts with . We did have issues which was a bit of a frustration, but the dealer was quick about resolving them.

Many furriends travel in folding canvas wagons. They’re useful. I like them. But my Thatmobile is welcomed at the mall, in bookstores, in schools and hospitals, on the sidewalks– The Thatmobile stroller is more practical fur my lifestyle. The canvas wagon may work best fur yours.

So there you have it and now you know the history of the Thatmobile! BOL!

Goodwill Energies I direct

Toward each and every one of you

Each and every day.

❝And there came to be evening and there came to be morning…❞

That’s life today.

Related Articles

• It’s Summertime (that1ebd.wordpress.com)

♫♪♫When I’m Not Lickin’ My Two Feet..!

A few months ago, a concerned bully brought this observation to the NATION:

How about a bully who licks too much? Bubs licks her paws constantly.

Ahh, foot lickin’. I do it. You do it. Bullys all do it. Foot lickin’.  I do it so much, I wrote a song about it. Like’ta hear it?  Here it go:

I’m— a— Bulldog with a first name it’s T * H * A * T  –That!

I’m a bulldog with a second name it’s One – O * N * E — One!

Oh.., I like to eat and sleep and Tweet
When I’m not lickin’ my two feet—
And there you have it. Plain to see

I’m T * H * A * T *O * N * E

Granted, foot licking looks pawsitively awful to People, especially People who don’t know us very well and even the who do live with and love us. It sounds pretty nasty, too. People wonder why we do it. What are we doing?  Is there something wrong with us or worse, is it harmful?

Yes. And could be!

Foot licking is a sign. It’s your body tryin’ ta tell you somethin’ and you need to pay attention! It’s a symptom. And it’s a symptom that may take you in many directions. But first, let me share a little of my own story. *Cue violins*

Hi.  I’m ThatOne, and I am– a foot licker.

Hi, That.

I was an obsessive, noisy, sloppy  foot licker, presenting with throaty umphings, wet, slobbery sounding slurping, fly biting behavior and tongue flicking, and then almost manic, obsessive attention to my feet and one foot in pawticular.

I could go on maniacally licking my feet for hours if She’d ever let me. Which She NEVER did! She knew right away when I started presenting these behaviors something serious was going on up in here but She didn’t panic and She didn’t go running off to the vet.  She always does a few things in this order first:

• The benign wait-and-see
• Internet/Research
• Common sense at home, OTC (over-the-counter) remedy
• Vet.

At first, She decided I was maybe not intellectually stimulated enough. So whenever I started with the foot licking, She would leash me up and we’d go out fur a vigorous walk. She’d also let me wander about and sniff fur as long as I wanted. When I came back in, I never returned to the behavior.  Hypothesis: Foot licking is a symptom of boredom. The Solution: Go fur a walk when you start with the behavior. Get some exercise.

Hypothesis: You may have an allergy. It may be an environmental allergy or it could be a food allergy. The Solution: You may need to change the brand of food you’re eating or eliminate that favorite dried chicken jerky treat. Or you may have an environmental allergy– plant mites, or pollen or mold. She had to change Her detergent to a dye free, perfume free brand and that made an enormous difference fur me!

You may have yeast in your ears. I recommend the 50/50 vinegar and water solution to flush the ears. Foot licking is not to be ignored. Something is at the root of your excessive foot licking. And the operative word here is excessive.

If  you are not biting yourself or your saliva output is not so excessive so as to stain your fur or you have not licked until you made a bald spot or made your skin raw– (you see where I’m goin’ with this?), I highly recommend you get in the habit of maybe once a week standing in a tub of warm water with Epsom salt. Make sure the crystals are thoroughly dissolved. And try not to drink the water.

She uses Epsom salt in my bath water. She will usually fill the tub to a level where the water completely covers my feet with hot water, pour the Epsom salt in, stir, and then allow the water to cool to tepid. Tepid means warm, not  room temperature, not cool or cold. There needs to be warmth! Then I stand in the water anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes depending upon whether I’m taking a full bath or not.

I’m a working TripleA Therapy dog. I work four days a week, so I have to bathe every week. The #bullDogNATION! is not recommending  or endorsing weekly bathing, just a weekly foot soak with the salts. Just like bleach is bleach, Epsom salts are Epsom salts. You do not have to look fur a name brand. There is no “special” epsom salt. Store variety is no less effective than the spa variety.

Epsom salts or magnesium sulfate are made up of a naturally occurring mineral found in water. Epsom salts derives its popular name from the town of Epsom, England, where the compound was first distilled from water. The chemical formula for Epsom salts is a rather simplistic one: MgS04-7H2O.

Epsom salts are easily obtained at any drug store or supermarket. Inexpensive and versatile, the salts can be used for a number of different applications around the home. Many of the applications have to do with expediting healing, as well as improving the quality of the skin and helping with basic grooming. Even People love it!

If there is itching and scratching and foot licking, do a full body salts soak. You should realize some diminution of the foot licking behavior, and especially the obsessive component of the foot licking behavior should fade completely. Epsom salts makes you smell nice, too. I especially lub the lavender scented Epsom salts. Great fur me. Aroma therapy fur Her. And the lavender scent deters drinking the water which I used to do.

It’s my responsibility to advise if your foot licking is obsessive and is resulting in self mutilation or injury:  GET THEE TO YOUR VET! You may have a skin allergy, atopic dermatitis, flea allergy, food allergy, inhalant allergy, contact allergy, or bacterial allergy.

I’m especially sensitive to mold, jade ground cover, ant venom, and I may never suddenly change my diet or introduce a new and novel food to my diet otherwise it’s back to the noisy, slurping, obsessive, fly biting, foot licking  obsessive behavior fur me.

If  you are biting, chewing, scraping, knawing on yourself; if your skin is red, scaly and raw or your saliva output is so excessive as to stain your fur or you have licked and chewed a bald spot or have hurt yourself, this is serious and you need immediate medical intervention. GET THEE TO YOUR VETERINARIAN! Immediately!  If not sooner!

OK, NATION, to recap, foot licking is a sign you may have an allergy or yeast in the ears.

Try the Epsom salts bath and soak,  flush the ears with the 50/50 vinegar and water solution, (common sense home remedies), do the benign wait-and-see. If there is no change to the behavior, GET THEE TO YOUR VETERINARIAN!

I am still a foot licker. It relaxes me. But my behavior is completely under control with diet, exercise and the Epsom salts spa bath that I frequently write about in my blog. It’s a good thing! Now you try it!

Good luck Mr. Phelps. BOL!

Goodwill Energies I project
On each and every one of you
Each and every day!

“And there came to be evening and there came to be morning…”

That’s life today!

Related Articles

• Why is my Dog Itching and Scratching? – The Basics. (myitchydog.wordpress.com)
• Olive Oil, Vinegar and Epsom Salts
• These Things Are Good

Interesting And Maybe Not-So-Interesting Things About…

Image via Wikipedia

Making a list of your personal attributes can be an eye opening exercise. You should try it. I am soooo not good at putting my personal attributes in list form. Why? Well look! See fur yourself! Whenever I start to make an attributes list it turns out like this one right here– Not compact, not economic, not pithy or whimsical or full of fun.

No, mine turns out to be the list of epic proportions with qualifiers which, to borrow a famous pop culture phrase from Rod Serling, is, in spite of all that, submitted fur your approval…

This is

That One List of Interesting and Maybe Not-So-Interesting Things— about ThatOne

I am no athlete. I generally do not chase. Balls or anything else.
I do not surf, skateboard or do tricks. However, I am quite agile. I simply prefer more cerebral pursuits.

I like to walk along the edges of buildings. When ascending or descending stairs, I prefer being on the left side. Always.

Not one fur knee-jerk responses, I carefully consider Her commands. I wanna be certain I heard and understood and will carry out the tersely worded instruction precisely. Consequently, She has pawfected the art of waiting.

In the morning, I am meticulous about selecting  just the right spot to squat or lift my leg. Consequently, She has become especially adroit at allowing the requisite time fur this latrine selection process. Or in plain English– waiting.

I rather like riding in cars.

I do not thrust my head out of windows or loll my tongue in the wind.
I don’t mind transport devices like pet strollers or shopping carts.
I don’t mind wearing Doggles. Or clothes.

I will let you take my picture but you better be quick about gettin’ your shot. I do not have all day!

I prefer never to be around mops or brooms. Long handles bother me.
I don’t like snapping plastic bags.
I don’t like snapping sheets. Or towels. I think I basically don’t like snap.
My threshold fur noise is extraordinarily high.
I have slept through two earthquakes and countless thunder rolls.
I am cautious.

I like to walk. I’m slow. I like to walk but I walk slow. And the walks– they can’t be long.
I will walk on leash, but only because I am trained, I am disciplined– and I have to.

I run in short bursts. Running is fun, especially uphill running. It’s not that I get tired. I just don’t want to keep that up fur minutes and minutes on end.

I follow Her everywhere She goes no matter how many inches that may take me.

I’m a foot licker.

I make loud, slurpy, grunty noises brought on by the pure ecstasy I experience when I lick my feet. I lick my feet then wash my face with my feet. Consequently She has pawfected repressing Her disgust.

I generally dislike having my feet touched. I attribute it to my intrinsic good temperament that I tolerate it.

I make noises when I sniff, noises that become progressively louder and more varying in tone and length depending on how interesting I find the scent.
I am prone to releasing snot showers every time I get close to Her face.
I like to sleep with my butt facing Her face.
I shed profusely.
People tell me I do not have bad breath.
I am completely dependent on Her to scratch my butt.
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers to scratch my butt.

I don’t mind getting groomed. Or the vet.
I love the bath.
I love being brushed.
I don’t mind having my nose fold cleaned. Constantly. Or my ears. Constantly.

I have a bladder of steel.

After I poop I do a happy dance.
She wipes my butt after I poop.
I like water. However it cannot be rain water that is still coming out of the sky. I do not like stepping on rain soaked surfaces. I do not like mud.
As far as People food is concerned, I know fur a fact that I do like:
Cooked carrots
Eggs
Peanut butter

Pizza crust
Cheese
Ice cream
Yogurt
Bacon
Meat
Poultry
Most anything else that is nommy except
Fruit (unless it’s mixed in yogurt) and Raw veggies.
I think.
I almost never come in contact with People food so this list is by no means exhaustive.
People food makes me hurl. That’s why I hardly get any.
I like cooler climate.
My threshold fur heat is exceedingly low.
I used to get inter digital cysts all the time. Now hardly ever.
I occasionally get head tremors. But I have not had one in a very long time.
I’m not good at being succinct.
I like to talk.

Clowns unnerve me.

I don’t have anything against dogs, but my social preference is People.
I’m indifferent to cats. And small dogs.
I like to play with the big dogs.
When I am flatulent, 99% of the time it’s a prelude to a poop.
I snore but only occasionally.
I really do ❤ being The Champion Fur Children’s Literacy.
I am passionate about children’s literacy.
I am mostly reserved.
I am mostly serious.
I’m not especially animated in public.
I ❤ Her Anipals.
I ❤ Her.
I always wanna be beside Her.

I am just a lap dog.

Goodwill Energies I direct

Toward each and every one of you

Each and everyday

“And there came to be evening, and there came to be morning…”

That’s Life today.